Dear Kim,
My oldest is getting married this summer to his high school sweetheart, and we couldn’t be happier!
We’ve known our future daughter-in-law since she was eight, as they’ve gone to school together since the second grade, though they didn’t begin dating until their sophomore year in high school. My son is graduating soon with his Masters (he’s an Engineer!), which will be right before the wedding.
My husband and I had a small savings tucked away for his education, but we didn’t foresee him going on to obtain his Masters, so while we were able to cover his undergrad tuition he does still have a bit of student loans.
I want them to see both a marriage counselor and a financial advisor before they officially tie the knot in August. I feel as though they put it very low on their list of priorities, however. I don’t blame them. Planning a wedding can be quite stressful.
However, I still think it is a very important step to discuss their future financial plans with a professional. I want to help make the process easy for them. What are some questions they should prepare before seeing a financial advisor? How should they go about making their goals?
What advice would you give to a young couple starting their lives and merging their finances together? Perhaps they’ll take the advice from someone who isn’t Dear Old Mom/Mother-In-Law.
Sincerely,
Focusing On Financial Futures
Dear Focusing on Financial Futures,
You are right to be concerned about their financial future. I think seeing a financial planner and a marriage counselor are both good ideas.
Many young people in love never have those hard conversations, which can lead to conflict once they settle into a routine after the honeymoon.
Communication is key in all areas of marriage, and none more important than finances. This should begin with the financial situation each is bringing into the marriage. Is there debt on either side, and what is the plan for paying it off? I see couples that hide things like debt, and that’s never a good foundation for a successful marriage.
Frequently, one partner will assume responsibility for managing the family finances, and that can be where problems begin. Both partners should be involved in making decisions about how money is spent and saved. Both should know where all the accounts are, and how to access them.
People come to me after a divorce or having lost a spouse by death who have no idea what their financial situation is. Both partners should be involved in all aspects of managing the finances. One may pay the month-to-month bills, but all serious decisions about large purchases, retirement savings, and other significant decisions should be made together.
Even if they decide to keep separate checking accounts, both should have knowledge about those accounts. They should have shared goals and work together to achieve them. During these discussions, they should decide what their monthly spending plan will be and ask advice for sticking to it.
They also need to talk about insurance and estate planning. These topics can be discussed with a financial planner before going on to get more detailed information from an attorney and insurance company.
The bottom line is communication. Always communicate with your partner.
Sincerely,
Kim
If you need help navigating your finances, talk to Kim Spencer by clicking the link below!
Ask Kim