Dear Kim,
I have been married for 27 years, and my finances were controlled by my husband. I thought he knew what he was doing and that we were fine. It turns out he wasn’t as good with money as I thought. I am trying to recover from massive credit card debt, but I could use some guidance as I try to get us out of this financial hole.
Sincerely,
Distressed by Debt
Dear Distressed by Debt,
I’m so sorry you’ve found yourself in this position. Climbing out of a large amount of debt can feel overwhelming, but with a clear plan, it absolutely can be done.
The first step is getting a solid understanding of exactly what you’re dealing with. Make a spreadsheet or simply write everything down on paper. List each debt, the total amount owed, and the interest rate. Then rank them two ways: by balance (smallest to largest) and by interest rate (highest to lowest). Seeing it clearly in black and white is empowering and helps you decide on a strategy.
One tried-and-true method for paying off substantial debt is the snowball method. Start by determining how much you can realistically put toward debt each month. To do that, you’ll need a clear picture of what’s coming into your household and what’s going out. Most of us have some “leakage” in our budgets—small amounts that slip away each month without much thought. Identify that leakage and redirect it toward your debt instead of letting it drift out of your account.
With the snowball method, you begin with the smallest balance. Put every extra dollar you can toward that card while continuing to pay the minimum on the others. Once the smallest debt is paid off, move to the next smallest and roll all that freed-up money into it. Continue this process until each debt is eliminated.
An alternative approach is to start with the card that has the highest interest rate and work your way down. Mathematically, this can save you more in interest. However, many people find that paying off the smallest balance first gives them a quicker sense of accomplishment, and that momentum helps them stick with the plan. Either approach works—the key is consistency.
It goes without saying that for this to succeed, you must stop using the cards. One practical strategy is to put your cards in a zip-top bag, fill it with water, and place it in the freezer. If you’re tempted to use one, you’ll have to wait for the ice to melt (and don’t microwave it—the magnetic strip contains metal). That waiting period gives you time to decide whether the purchase is truly necessary.
You can also contact your credit card companies, explain that you’re actively working to repay your debt, and ask whether they’ll reduce or temporarily freeze your interest rates. Many companies are willing to work with you if you’re proactive.
Most importantly, give yourself grace. You trusted your spouse and believed things were being handled. Now you’re taking control—and that’s a powerful first step toward turning this around.
Kim
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